• how do you know when its best to move on and when its best to stay and fight ? cause i find myself doubting every decision i make. days can go by and i'll be completely confident and then a day comes and self doubt is evident. i wonder how everyone else deals with this. cause they all seem to be happy, wearing that smile like a mask that covers up any true emotion. maybe they doubt themselves the same as i doubt myself. i tend to doubt that too though. and its hard to know how anyone thinks or if they mean what they say. cause this world seems pretty closed off. the people are all closed off from each other. and no wears their emotions on their sleeves anymore. no ones a real romantic or a real tragic. everythings happy dappy and all smiles. they cover their themselves cause they dont wanne be figured out. no one shares their feelings or thoughts. and i know what its like cause its a lot easier to hide the truth then to explain the reasons that no one will ever understand no matter how you say it. they dont know and never will understand what you go through. and you never know what people are actually thinking. and if we did it would make it hard for us to function cause people have nasty sadistic thoughts that are meant to bring people down even if some are well intentioned and 'nice' they're not all like that. but people dont say what theyre thinking to protect people. they stop pain in hopes that they can keep people happy. and they sugar coat and baby bumper every sharp corner. but that isnt how the real world is believe me. ive seen the real world and it aint so pretty. cause theres poverty, and murder, and crime and pure unhappiness. but bad things are there so we can truly appreciate the good things in life. but thats actually alright with me cause i know that there has to be bad for there to be real good. im happy to sift through shit to find the diamond. and i appreciate every day im alive and what i have cause ive seen what others dont have and i know im better off than them. even if it isnt exactly what i want. and i digress through out this but thats what i thought about all day today....

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