• i really wish i were something special or something. i mean, sure maybe i am, in a sense, personality wise i guess. but what i mean is that i want to remake myself (physically, maybe not mentally). i hate how short my hair is, i wish it would just growgrowgrow. as fast as it can. and i wish my thighs weren't so unbeautiful. the human body is a beautiful thing, sure, and i'm not too upset with mine, but my thighs... -sigh- i can work them out though, i'm sure. i'm just really lazy and besides, the only person who could even take me to the fitness club is my dad, and he's always working. my mom wouldn't take me there because she wouldn't leave me there alone, and there's no way in hell she'd exercise with me. she'd be too embarrassed. plus, there's her knees. i just have this image of how i want to look, you know? i wish i could dress more cleancut, more the way i want to, but i simply don't have enough money to buy a whole new wardrobe. christmas is soon, though, so maybe... another thing is that i wish my face was clear of all kinds of acne. i don't know if i'd say i have a lot, but i have enough to annoy the shit out of me. i try skin treatments and it seems like nothing really works... i really am not trying to complain if it seems like i am, i'm more than anything just thinking of what i want to do with myself and making a plan to get it done... bah, okay, i'm done now.

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