• i keep seeing things moving along the floor. dark things. animals that should not be there. i mean i know nothing's there, i really do. i know that i'm just seeing things. but i still see them. black creatures are always scampering around my line of vision. this sounds so crazy. but it happens. i swear it does. anyways. my sleep schedule is a strain. i'm always so tired. but when the time comes to sleep, i can't keep my eyes shut. it's because it's at night. i love being the only one conscious. the only one alive in a house of breathing cadavers. but just because it's enjoyable doesn't mean it's voluntary too. i've been awake so long, i don't know how to be anything else. plus those dark critters i was talking about keep me on my toes. part of me is scared that if i sleep too long, they'll all come out of hiding. re-appear and race towards my lifeless body in hopes of taking over. i hate thinking about that. also jason asked me to sleep over. to attend an event with people i see everyday but would never speak to. and can't tell if i want to go or not. i know if i go, we will end up in a dark room together without our clothes. but to be honest that is okay. i love the false affection. and the guilt and stress will help me stay awake.

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