• I'm not in the mood to journal at all. I don't know why. I'm going to do it anyway, even though it won't help. Xavi and I made up before we even went home this evening, so why do I still feel like I'm on the verge of tears? I know I always blame things like this on hormones, but I'm honestly pretty sure they're definitely the cause of tonight's horrible sadness. I want to have Christmas. I don't want to have to think about school and boyfriends and boyfriends with other girls and buying presents and exams and having basically no eyelashes left. That list sounded horrendously petty but I really don't care - our problems are relative, and those are mine this evening. I saw Kim on Sunday, and again last night with Fiona to go late night shopping. It wasn't as fun as I'd hoped. I tried a cigarette again today, off of Julian. It'll never become attractive, and my throat tasted & felt like a barbecue afterwards. English Language went well today. Physics, German writing and German listening tomorrow, and I have revised for 0. I got a C in my art mock and, apparently, she was 'being generous'. May as well have given me a D. My train was delayed for 20 minutes today. And this list of negative little annoyances could go on for hours, but it's 9p.m and I just want to kill another hour doing nothing until I have a valid excuse to go to bed and forget about my mind for 8 hours.

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