NOTE TO READER: TEENAGER-Y RAMBLE AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Can't say I didn't warn you.
God-fuckin'-damnit.
That certain person who I have a major crush on - yeah, the one I've written too much about in here - COMPLETELY dogged me today. Twice. Possibly three times.
Now, she told me she was going to the first session of High School Musical 3 at the local cinema. I initially had no intention of going to the same session as her because I wasn't going with anyone, and it'd be kind of imposing if I rocked up on my own and saw her there with her sister. So, I was going to go to the second session. The plans changed when my friend wanted to go to the earlier screening. No problem. I went into the movies and I swear I saw her sister there taking up a second seat. I didn't look too long or say anything but I'm pretty sure that was her - if I saw correctly, then either she was there and I didn't see her somehow and she didn't say anything, or she came in and didn't say anything to me at all. That's when I was sitting there, when I left - she WOULD have seen me.
So, once I left the cinema, I was contemplating whether to call her up or not and see if she had seen it. I was very excited, okay?! And the person I went with is far from a HSM fan, and she pretty much hated it and only went because I was going and she wanted to hang out with me. Anyway, I gave her a ring, and I was very excited on the phone - all I got pretty much was "Yeah I saw it, it's good, bye." If she actually did have to go for whatever reason then that's cool but I would have stopped me before I started talking about it! Like "I can't talk right now" or something. Or not even answer. She has my number, it'd come up on the screen TELLING her it was me.
THEN, this is what kills me - I SAW her. I saw her, with her sister, we walked right by each other. I would have said something but after the incident with the phone call... no. I kind of embarrassed myself with the phone call. I don't want to make it worse for myself. I know both her AND her sister saw me. Nothing.
Like, what the hell? I thought I was meant to be friends with this girl. Yes, I'm fairly sure I am overreacting, but all the same - I'd treat my friends much differently. It's not even this. It's everything. It's the fact that she barely wants to talk to me anymore. It's as if now that school's over, she wants nothing to do with me. For fucks sake. I hate myself for everything this has caused. I need to get over it immediately. How? I don't know. I can't just say that I'm over it and be done with it, because it's really not like that for me. I don't fall for people easily, but when I do, I fall hard. This has been going on for a year or more.
I've been having trouble getting out of bed lately. That's not normal for me. Everything is perfect in my life, but this one thing is just absolutely killing me. To some, it's petty. To others, it's what life's all about. Whatever your stance, I hope that people can be a little more patient with me right now.
Can't say I didn't warn you.
God-fuckin'-damnit.
That certain person who I have a major crush on - yeah, the one I've written too much about in here - COMPLETELY dogged me today. Twice. Possibly three times.
Now, she told me she was going to the first session of High School Musical 3 at the local cinema. I initially had no intention of going to the same session as her because I wasn't going with anyone, and it'd be kind of imposing if I rocked up on my own and saw her there with her sister. So, I was going to go to the second session. The plans changed when my friend wanted to go to the earlier screening. No problem. I went into the movies and I swear I saw her sister there taking up a second seat. I didn't look too long or say anything but I'm pretty sure that was her - if I saw correctly, then either she was there and I didn't see her somehow and she didn't say anything, or she came in and didn't say anything to me at all. That's when I was sitting there, when I left - she WOULD have seen me.
So, once I left the cinema, I was contemplating whether to call her up or not and see if she had seen it. I was very excited, okay?! And the person I went with is far from a HSM fan, and she pretty much hated it and only went because I was going and she wanted to hang out with me. Anyway, I gave her a ring, and I was very excited on the phone - all I got pretty much was "Yeah I saw it, it's good, bye." If she actually did have to go for whatever reason then that's cool but I would have stopped me before I started talking about it! Like "I can't talk right now" or something. Or not even answer. She has my number, it'd come up on the screen TELLING her it was me.
THEN, this is what kills me - I SAW her. I saw her, with her sister, we walked right by each other. I would have said something but after the incident with the phone call... no. I kind of embarrassed myself with the phone call. I don't want to make it worse for myself. I know both her AND her sister saw me. Nothing.
Like, what the hell? I thought I was meant to be friends with this girl. Yes, I'm fairly sure I am overreacting, but all the same - I'd treat my friends much differently. It's not even this. It's everything. It's the fact that she barely wants to talk to me anymore. It's as if now that school's over, she wants nothing to do with me. For fucks sake. I hate myself for everything this has caused. I need to get over it immediately. How? I don't know. I can't just say that I'm over it and be done with it, because it's really not like that for me. I don't fall for people easily, but when I do, I fall hard. This has been going on for a year or more.
I've been having trouble getting out of bed lately. That's not normal for me. Everything is perfect in my life, but this one thing is just absolutely killing me. To some, it's petty. To others, it's what life's all about. Whatever your stance, I hope that people can be a little more patient with me right now.