• sadly, not such a good day today. I had Emma on the phone earlier, sounding panicked and confused. her mother and her have some foreign guy staying with them, a lodger, a 35-year-old bloke who's earning money for his four children back home. Tonight, while her mum was out kickboxing, the guy started coming onto her, asking her repeatedly to kiss him. When she phoned me she was outside her house and wondering what to do next. She's now at a friend's house until her mum's home, and hopefully (after my advice) she'll tell her about it and get that creep out of their home.

  Another bad thing. I seem to have lost my best friend again. I've heard from five different people (Nonie, Annie, Emma, Ed and Rachel) that she's been talking about me, how I'm too preoccupied to be her best friend anymore. I can't express how much that is utter bullshit. I'm so angry at her. I know I think about Xavi a lot - he's a big part of my life - but I have never put being his girlfriend in front of being her best friend. If anything, she's come first a lot more than he has in the past year. She also seems to have told Julian (her boyfriend of THREE fucking days) something very private about Xavi that she knew she wasn't meant to talk about to anyone, let alone someone at his school who will undoubtedly tell others. I feel so guilty for even thinking I could trust her enough in the first place to talk about it...I should've learned by now that anything she learns about a person that she considers 'juicy' will instantly be broadcast to anyone and everyone who will hear it, regardless of anybody's feelings. I don't want to see her tomorrow - I don't want to have to hear all her shitty excuses.

  On a brighter note. I was in a slightly angry mood with Xavi last night. "You don't get in the way - everything else does. I'm sorry if I made you feel like that. I love you so much. You couldn't get in the way if you tried." Amongst other things. I fucking hate gambling on seeing him once a week.

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