• When i woke up this morning, it took so much effort to even get out of bed

  I hate how dark my room is on school days, i hate how louidly my alarm plays

  And yet, i have absolutely no say in the matter, so i do it all anyway

  i can't help thinking in terms of hours, like just 17 more until i can crawl back in

   i do know how sad it is that sleep is the one thing i'm looking most forward to

   

  school was normal and boring

  S is in my math class now so yay!

  we got a shitload of hw so boo

  i guess i broke even 

   writing school was ordinary too

  we had conferences after and apparently i don;t speak up enough

  sorry, i'll work on it

  why yes, i can be a good dog and raise my hand to fill silence

  of course i love it here, love your class, love the world

  because i am happy happy happy ever so thrilled to be alive

   

  i'm sorry i'm acting ungrateful again

  over the self pity; moving on now

  soooooo

  well, i'm going up to NY to visit L at college this weekend

  Chris was goign to drive me at first but my mom hates his car too much

  so now she's driving me instead

  i don't think he was all that disappointed

  shocking

  i've decided that after this i'm completely done talking about him

  he comes up entirely too much in conversation, both on here and in real life

  it's getting pathetic because clearly he doesn't like me so i'm going to accept that

  i don't have to chase after anyone

  i'd rather be alone

  wow okay, i just can't seem to find my happy tonight

  that came out depressing

  i think i'm going to stop now before i start to type up tears

  she wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me everythign will be alright

   

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