• im just so tired
  
  physically, emotionally, mentally
  
  i want to see that benjamin button movie
  i actually have a lot of respect for brad pitt
  
  i almost want to write the link to this journal down 100 times
  and give it to the people who would be most surprised by reading it
  
  but like i said -
  im the most obnoxiously attention needy on this site
  
  all i know is im ready to hit bottom
  
  so i tried the whole being depressed thing
  then i tried being apathetic and numb
  and i was kinda angry all the way through
  and now? now im...
  well now im lost
  
  i simply have no idea who i am anymore
  
  and im lonely
  
  hahahahaha LAME, holy shit
  
  i just have no motivation for anything anymore
  and i feel myself wanting to cut more and more
  not so much because im hurting
  but just because i want to feeeeeeel.
  
  thats the only way i can put it
  i want to feel an extreme instead of flat lining my way thru like i have been
  
  i dont want to do homework
  i dont want to swim
  i dont want to sleep
  i dont want to get up
  i dont want to see anyone
  and i dont want to be alone
  wtf do i do?
  
  i just genuinely feel helpless and worthless
  lonely
  emmmmmpty
  sick and tired of everything in general
  so, wtf do i do?
  
  what
  the
  fuck
  CAN
  i
  do?

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