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  it was slightly odd that the phone call happened to end at the time it did, she felt in a way that it had somehow meant something.. it was not just a mistake, error, miscalculation, it had somehow called out to her..it had somehow expressed...something....it just was not a normal end to a call. and, thinking about the conversation that had just been, conversated, she saw the representation of the lack of feelings she recieved, possibly, the lack of feelings recieved was why she couldn't answer the question...she couldnt answer the only question that was aimed at her, and that the phone had decided to die on the certain moment that it did was a representation that he actually did not want to know the answer to the question, and he would have rather have been asked more questions, but not knowing exactly what to say, had taken an easy responce, after having answered her question. so he didnt really want to know the answer to "how about you" he wanted to say more about himself. this was fine, completley fine, to talk about youself is a joy that some people just cannot control, cannot sufficiently restrict themselves to not say too much about themselves. and this is something she understood, and she believed truthfully that this did not make a person bad just normal, and he was more normal then he fears, he is his worst fear. she knew this, but it was something she would never say, one of the many things she would never say, because she knew she would never be able to explain why her gut told he that the phone call ended signifying something, because of something. no, she could never explain and she never will try. but what she did know was that it was not okay that he though he knew everything, it was actually laughable that he though he knew all about her. he didnt know half... and again...he gut told her that he didnt really care... that possibly he thinks he cared but really he was in love with the aspect of there relationship that included talking about himself...

  but nothing will matter for very long. ONE MORE YEAR AND IM GONE BABY GONE IM SO GONE.

  im sorry but i cant have all these influences influenceing me all the time i gotta find out who i am . he is a good guy but not a great guy. its cool whatever ill deal. it will make me stronger anyways. ill just enjoy this shit while i have it then im so gone.

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