• I think that suicide, both the action and the word, has a certain poetry about it

  It slides right off the tongue, a delicious slide in the last sylable

  If you say it softly, it sounds sweet, almost innocent

  It only becomes foreboding when you add the conotation

  I think about things like this because otherwise they'd scare me

  I need to know and explore, need to understand, so i can develop an opnion

  Without opinions, without our own stances and thoughts and values, we are nothing

  I want to stand alone in a crowd, be able to stand up and swear I'm not afraid of death

  And Mean that as much as possible

  If I were to kill myself, I would probably just find the highest buliding and jump

  I think I'd like that, for my last few seconds to be in perfect free-fall; just enough time to reflect on all that I've accomplished but not enough to regret all I've left behind

  statistically, girls use pills and cutting because you have the greatest probability of surviving

  Boys use guns and nooses because there's no way of backing down

  I find it puzzling that people would go through all the trouble if death wasn't even the ultimate goal

  I can;t even imagine being that fucked up, where revenge and spite meant more than my life

  Because even though I think about it sometimes, i know I would never actually do it

  I don't think I could even bring myself to make the tiniest cut, to stash the pills under my bed for that little just in case

  It's such an extreme and even though it sounds cliche

  It's just so not me

  I might stay up until one to learn self deprivation

  I might walk away from chances that could be the best thing that ever happened

  But I could never ever ever forgive myself for just giving in

   

   

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