• i find some things so difficult that shouldn't be... why am i constantly wondering what's wrong with me? why am i never content with my life? why am i never content with myself?

   

  the truth is, you should have helped me. you should have said she's crazy. i knew you wanted to give up on me. you dont understand me. you were...disgusted.... i saw the look in your eyes... i saw it. dont try to say you dont feel the way you do because i SAW it. you can't hide how you feel about me. i don't blame you. i'm just saying dont FUCKING DENY IT.

  that was the worst feeling ever...ever...that i've ever felt. to have the ONE person you are always trying to impress...the ONE person that you look up to the most....be disgusted just by the sight of you........

  I FELT SO FUCKING PATHETIC. DO YOU THINK THAT I AM HAPPY WITH MYSELF?? I'M NOT. I HOPE YOUR HAPPY ABOUT THAT BECAUSE IT'S WHAT YOU WANTED..I FELT LIKE A COMPLETE FUCK UP AND A WASTE OF SPACE. BUT WORSE...I WAS EMBARESSED...I WAS A BUG.... I WAS COMPLETELY EXPOSED AND YOU RUBBED IT IN MY FACE

  DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M HAPPY WITH MYSELF FOR THAT?????? DO YOU??????? DO YOU THINK I'M SATISFIED WITH THAT??? DO YOU THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THAT????

  BECAUSE I WISH I COULD BUT I CAN'T AND I NEVER WILL

  so why can't i give up on you? why can't i acept the fact that you will NEVER understand me. EVER. i take all the shit you've ever said to be and i keep it. and it sucks me dry everyday. i know you probably forgot it all but the fact that at some point in time you actually felt like that kills me....

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