• umm 

  yesturday something really weird happened to me

  i'm kinda freaked out but i dunno.

  so i was talking to christian and everything was fine. we were joking around and happy and normal. Then like out of nowhere i couldn't really remember what we were talking about and i guess i was like talking to myself... i really didn't know what was going on...it was like my thoughts were really confused and cloudy and i was scared... i think i started hyperventilating because i couldn't catch my breath and my head felt dizzy and my hand felt numb. ah it freaked me out but all of this happened while i was still on the phone with him... i just...i just don't know what happened but this whole thing is scaring me and i just want everything to be more clear. and then i started crying and i just kept thinking..stop just stop your fine... but nothing came out right i was so confused... but christian helped, he helped me calm down and he was really sweet so i'm glad i was on the phone with him. he just told me just told me to take an advil and go to sleep and he helped me through the whole thing. i really love him so much... but i hope he doesn't think i'm making it up because i swear to god i'm NOT. i dont want this to happen i want it to go away and i don't want attention on me or for me.... i dont wanna be selfish and i just want this to go away. and i'm scared its gonna happen again it was so scary and confusing and i just really cannot explain.

   

  i dont wanna be crazy...i really dont.  

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