• Today I've been forced to ask myself; What is wrong with the world if I can't even talk to my best friend about a problem as (seemingly) small as this one?

  Admittedly, Ruth and I haven't been as great over the past few weeks as we usually are. She isn't all that keen on Xavi & I being so...together. She isn't without good reason - she never really got over what he did to me with Jess. The only thing is, Ruth is the only person I'm completely comfortable with while talking about my boyfriend's and my relationship. She doesn't judge, she doesn't tell me I'm strange, she just listens and cracks the odd hilarious joke. I do my fair share of listening, too, hearing about her long-standing feelings for Fred, trying not to interject with anything that would upset her. Up until recently, it's been a perfect balance.

  But now? I find out from her that the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with still fancies him like hell. If you've never experienced that realisation before, I don't reccommend it. It's not fun. And just when I really really need a friend, suddenly all she can talk about is how I can't tell him I know because it'll make her fall out with Amelia. Amelia, the girl she only seems to be friends with because they are both in love with telling other peoples' secrets. She even had the nerve to comment how "friends are supposed to be for life, and last time I checked boyfriends aren't." Any guesses for the cherry on t of the shitcake that was that statement? "And to be honest, right now I'm more concerned about my friendship with Amelia."

  I had so many words swirling about in my mind, things to write that can articulate how I'm feeling about this current situation with my best friend. Now, remembering that last speech she made, the words have disappeared altogether. I'm speechless. I don't understand how it is that she can think that way about what's going on right now. Now I'm just stuttering, trying to find things to fill in the gaps that are my feelings.

  I can't. I just can't. What will I say to her tomorrow? How will she be feeling about me? The last things I said to her were, "I give up. I'll see you tomorrow." I didn't mean it in a stroppy way - I honestly didn't have the willpower to carry on listening to what she was saying. I don't think I've ever ranted about anyone other than Xavi for so long...It's weird. I guess it's good that I'm thinking about someone other than him.

  I just wish it was for a different reason.

• No Comments

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!