• Everyday I end up disappointing myself

  I had good intentions, i swear

  But i always let me down

  i can't seem to change, though i want to so badly

  i hate being a bitch

  i don't want to be one of those catty girls who ruin lives

  I don't want to be anything at all

  I need to get out of here, take a trip far away to neverland

  I love my friends to death, but right now they're dragging me down

  I don't know how to be anything other than a reflection on the glass

  I always forget who the real me is when I'm standing in front of the mirror

   

  Boys confuse me

  Today Aaron punched me in the hall

  not like hard or anything, just a little hey what's up how are ya?

  but it still made me angry

  like what right does he have to fucking touch me?

  I should have turned around and punched him in the nuts, but instead i just kept walking

  How is this being the bigger person if doing nothing makes me feel so small?

  Chris is acting like a dick again

  why am i not suprised?

  I think i'm attracted to guys who treat me like shit

  It's like a i need someone to abuse me, try to bring me down

  otherwise, i'll never know what i'm doing wrong

  Sam thinks i should stop talking to him, but i can't

  we're friends

  i care about him

  as in, i would probably cry if he gets kicked out of his house and sells drugs

  it sounds so crazy, but he's really fucked up enough for that to be a possibility

  really

  no wonder i worry all the time

  I'm still trying to decide if it's him i like or just the idea of having a boyfriend again

  i don't know

  i wish matt didn't trun out to be such a dick

  i wish i knew what i was doing

  ah, why do i keep saying that?

  I thought i'd already figured out wishing doesn;t count for shit

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