• yay half day today

  i went home and took a long nap

  i love sleeping

  it's so cool the way time seems to extend and stretch in all those semiconscious moments

  you just lose touch of anything outside the doorway

  the numbers on the clock just are

  for me, it's all about disappearing deeper inside the body that shields me

  because when you're gone you can't be anyone at all

   

  I am such a bitch sometimes

  i gossip, i break people down

  i say things i don't mean and didn't really think about saying

  they're just stupid high school slogans to fill up the silence

  i really don't mean anything by it

  i wish i could stop, but it's never that easy

  i wish i was prettier

  i wish chris actually cared about me

  but wishing doesn't change a thing

  in quantum physics, they believe in alternate universes

  as in, every possible outcome of every situation happening to you at any given point could be happening a different way in another dimension

  if you were an electron, that is

  i find it fascinating when i actually learn things in school

  i have a math test tomorow i should be studying for

  i think i have chem homework, but i can't find it

  oh well. it's what i ultimately come away with that matters

   

  I think i need more hobbies than coming on here and homework

  i hate when life gets so boring i have nothing to obsess over

  when i get older, i'm going to fuck myself up on purpose, just to see what it feels like

  this normalacy is getting to me

  i need drugs and sex and pretty colors

  not homework and t.v. and sleep deprivation

  i want to be a reality star or a scenester

  I imagine i can just do those things for a few years and then move on

  no consequences, no lasting effects

  i don't believe in stupid descisions, just influences ones

  i am exaclty who you tell me to be

  but just wait a few years until everyone who cares is gone

  and then i'll really shine

   

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