• so right now, im sitting at uni in a quad lab, with so many things rushing through my head, so many mixed feelings and i dont know what or how i am meant to act on them.

  she just went out so i gotta make this quick before she gets back, if she ever saw me doing this id probably die on the spot of embarassment, i dont even know why im taking the risk and writing this no, maybe deep inside i sort of want her to see? but i know that would just make things awkward, and the last thing i want to do is lose her as a friend, but i still dont know what to do.

  i feel really embarassed typing about this even on a random website journal, but atleast its my one way of expressing all these feelings. shes the nicest person i know, shes got the prettiest smile that just lights up your day. And the worst part, is i cant do anything, my hands are tied, shes on my phone now, talking to the other guy, the one i think she is into, u have no idea how bad this feels, i thought i would be able to take it, but i think im falling apart inside now.

  just when i thought there was still hope, it looks like there isnt any left, unless somehow she is playing me but thats just stupid thinking.

  anyways what did i today? oh we went to check out a few asian cake shops for tmr, still unsure what were gonna get, might change last minute and get one from michelles pastisserie (sp?)at townhall.

  so far we've pretty much just bludged a bit and did some work, showed her the youtube vid "at musing's end" i thought it was real nice, she said it was ok, but didnt like videos that remind her of reality, or sumthn. i dont know what she thinks of me now, probly just as a random study guy, gotta move on, or atleast try, again.

   

  songofthemoment

  jesse chui & henry tsai - at musing's end main theme

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