• I miss you. I never loved you but I miss you sorely. I want you. And I hate you. I trust you. I miss your lies.

   I miss being hurst by you. I miss feeling inadequate around you. I miss feeling paranoid and insecure. I miss feeling your arm across my shoulder, crushed with the knowledge that I could be anyone with a shoulder.

  I miss wanting you to shut the fuck up about bands I've never heard of and kiss me. I miss knowing that you will never want me the way I wanted to be wanted. I miss watching you shut me out when I got too close, whilst you never quite let me leave.

  I miss walking home, crying. I miss listening to you talk about your distress for hours before belittling mine. I miss you patronising me. I miss you not understanding my humour - watching it go over your head as you continue to talk. I miss you dismissing everything I hold important as nonsense.

  I miss trying to work out if I actually find you physically attractive. I miss wincing as you described our fucking as "making love". I miss avoiding your eye as you faked a smile at me.

  I miss trying to figure out why I was miserable with you. I miss wondering why we never laugh together.

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