•    i dont understand the 21st century teen and i am one. I don't understand the cutting, and the hooking up, and the alcohol and drug dependency. But this is also something older generations have dealt with also. I guess my real problem is i can't really relate that much. I dont have the extreme need or desire to want to do that stuff. I have smoke pot five times and the last time i got so high i thought i was losing my fucking mind and my brain was leaving my head. My body was super hot and fealt heavy along with my head. It was okay. But it was a bit frightening because i had lost control of myself. I couldnt stop it. It was happening and i had to go along with it until i calmed down and was able to finally enjoy it. I dont understand completely why the girls i know hook up with SO many guys. Why? i just want one that i can love. I like male attention at times but i dont NEED it and i dont want it all the time. In fifth grade i used to binge eat while i watched TRL on MTV and then i would make myself puke my brains out. I would stick the back of a spoon down my throat and it did the trick. I have never cut myself. i have squeezed myself hard in the past once or twice but never actually inflicted real bloody pain onto myself and i dont think i could ever. i dont need alcohol to have a really fun time. I dont need drugs. and i decided i dont want these things to an extreme amount. i can smoke pot and be ok and i can drink and be ok. i dont need it. i dont do it alot. i infact very rarely do these things. i dont know why teenagers do it so much. doesnt that frighten them, or is that what they like, the fear? the thrill? i dont think theres much more i can say but i dont fit in with this generation, that much, or perhaps i am just different from most.. i think its the second one. oh and 95% of popular music these days... the crap teens listen to now... yea well, i think it fucking sucks.

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