• I'm listening to a creed album i illegally uploaded from the library and so far it's kind of disappointing not that i'm looking at the lyrics and really analyzing but whatever you know how some songs you just can pick out a few words and know exactly what they are about? I'm kind of wishing this music was more like that In other music news, yelle the french techno singer is awesome i can't actually understand french, but i get the sense the song je veux te voir is about sex on the dancefloor it's amazing lol speaking of sex on the dancefloor, we had a school dance last night(note clever segue) and guess what? it actually didn't suck now, this is by no fault of the school let me assure you, what with the sobriety checks at the door and the turning on the lights when the grinding got to crazy, they tried very hard to ensure everyone's six dollars was a complete waste of money but shockingly, something kind of crazy happened to make it worthwhile See back in eighth grade i dated this kid named GM for maybe a month or so and of course by date i mean made out at the movies with and ignored otherwise so anywho, he went to private school and i never spoke to him again except for last night he was randomly at the dance! so eventually i got up the nerve to talk to him and we started dancing and such and eventually i kissed him goodbye because i'm bored with my life and then i found out he moved to MA and was just visiting so it would probably be another 3 years until we talked again lol i love when life works like that it's just so ironic i think i do things mostly for comedic effect i met him back in the day at a school dance so i knew i needed to make something happen otherwise, my night would just be a complete waste i was actually kind of suprised at how sucessful i was though like somehow he danced only with me for like 30 minutes and then invited me back to this after party at some popular kid i don't talk to's house i wish i could have gone, but my parents don't love me enough to let me have sex at midnight with my 8th grade ex boyfriends at houses of guys they've never heard of but even so, the invite was like such a huge confidence booster because in boy world (and in whore world) hang out=hook up always to anyone reading this, take notes there are absolutely no exceptions he wants to get in your pants nice guys ask you to go public places people who want their dick's sucked hang out anyway, so the fact that GM wanted me to fuck him means he thinks i'm hot which was gratifying, as after dances i'm generally dripping sweat and nasty so imagine how hot i'd be with make up that wasn't melting off my face lol and the thing is, i totally would have fucked him, i mean because i've thought about it and i'm really not sorry for being a whore especially in high school which is nothing like real life it's like if sex won't hurt anyone, why not? if you both understand this is simply an in the moment sort of thing with a 95% chance of you never speaking/fucking again, then it's no worse than drinking or prank calls or watching shittty movies or any of the other stupid things teenagers do for entertainment really once you're not a virgin anymore, sex is just like kissing absolutely meaningless and i think i kind of like it that way afterall, i never get attatched to one night stands it's only the guys i actually date and know on an emotional level that i start to care about and as chris proved, caring is useless and should be reserved for trashy teen novels not for whores like me so yea, it's a bummer i'll never see GM again, but it was fun while it lasted i especially enjoyed how while my friends and i kept getting pushed out of the "circle", having a popular guy with me somehow enabled us to magically gain enterance to the center ring like seriously, imagine me, probably # 5 or so most talked shit about girl in our grade grinding with all the cool kids and they didn't even glare at me like ew wtf? it was like oh hey we'll just pretend we don't trash you on a day to day basis and i was like alright cool with me it's amazing how much it's about who you know in high school like J with her football bf getting invites to all the cool parties or Sam from gym who can't break up with her guy because then she'll lose all her friends it makes me sad, but i just have to laugh and play along as long as i remind myself it's all a game and i'm just in it to win it, i think i'll be just fine

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