• im doing this project right, for art.. n i was looking at some blogs.. and i found this one.. and i was so surprised, t sounds almost exactly like me... whoever wrote this.. i wish u luck in life """Is there a point? Is there a point for trying so hard, working so hard, moving foward so quickly? We all try so hard, just to die in the end. All of the experiences, moments, ideas, magnificent creations, disasterous mistakes, are gone when we die. And the people around you will be said, but that's gone when they get over it or die. Is life just neverending cycle of mourning over a death? I'm not saying I want to up and kill myself. But I am tired of trying so hard in a pointless life. I don't want to bring anyone's day down. But I'm really just confused, and tired. I broke my streak and cut myself. Not alot, not very deep. But it wasn't satisfying. I'm worried that I might get lost, and hurt everyone more... I have an art project that was assigned. My theme is going to be teen SI and depression. So I took out some books. I hadn't meant to actually read them, but I did. I don't want to seem fake, but some of the symptoms I recognized from my behavior. Breaking off of friendships, increased sleeping, long periods of low (My longest lasted a month or two), irratibility, thoughts of suicide... I think my mother thinks I'm okay, that I was just going through a few bad stretches in life. I'm afraid I'm losing control, and I don't want to ask for help. I'm afraid she'll think I'm being dramatic, or making everything up. Like she'll think that I read something in a book and started acting like that. When, in truth, I read the symptom list for Major Depressive Disorder, and than I read a sample situation, and then I threw it away from me. I don't want to have a disorder. I miss when I was just happy, when everything was okay. I miss what it felt like to be able to say "This is why I'm living." or "I'm glad I'm alive". I don't want you readers to worry, honest. I'm sure there are more important cases needing your undivided care. I am living now, and I am searching for a reason to continue...""

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