• i have so much to say, but it won't come out easy i hate when everything's so jumbled around it gets to the point where i just colapse, exhausted before the day is even over it's like giving up but better because when you're sleeping you don't have to feel the defeat I feel like in the end, it will be all these little insignificant moments that really define me when i die, i won't be thinking about how much my parents did for me or how afraid i am instead, i 'll be thinking about the random people who i haven't seen in years and all the falling outs that led me this far our generation's in a rut, but i can't pretend to be above it we get consumed because it feels inclined even if i knew it all, it's all or nothing now so these little pieces i've been working on for years that just won't fit? they're practically invisible i shared a lyric the other day that no one understood "but the moment it just froze, and i felt sick and so alone" i think i finally get it, andrew thank you so much for changing my life people prefer the cliche love songs because they can fit themselves into the story i like the twisted lines that i need to decipher because they make me forget it's the individual words laced together that become universal once you personally live it and somehow, the fragments are always worth more than the entirety i'm working really hard on faith i don't want to lose this i'm so sick of all these tiring tears but it's hard to swear i'm happy when the feeling's spilling over i told chris i worry about him and he just told me not to bother i should get on that caring about people sucks it's so depressing, but when i stop and think about it, nothing i do here matters because eventually i will die and be forgotten i won't be written about in history books i'm really nothgin special so even if i were to just give up completely, any minor wounds i left in my wake would heal in time i sometimes wish i didn't have to think so much it always makes me realize just how much patheos goes along with human existence and how suffering is always always relative

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