• I always need a good song to get through the day when i have lyrics that means something, that have somehow shaped or affected me, running through my brain it reminds me that not everything i'm doing is just a huge mistake sometimes i berate myself to much, focus in on every flaw and when i start to do that, i lose the mentality to keep on pushing i just kind of let myself get caught in going downhill, never making any progress but reall, that's nto something i can live with i need to stop pretending i can actually be perfect maybe someday, with years and years of practice i'll get there, but right now it's too much to expect everytime i get home and just can't force myself to do homework, i have to know it's okay to just relax and forget sometimes i've got all kinds of time to make everything right i talk too much about other people and myself i do it as a defense, so no one will see how much a i regret doing all those stupid things but with comparison, it makes my evils seem lesser and by just blurting out the truth, no one else can use it to hurt me later if i lay out all the cards, atleast i'm going down swinging i over-eat because it's soemthing to do i deprive myself of sleep becuase i want to be different i can't blend compeltely because i want too much for myself and i write all these poems and journal entries because it's what makes me me I've seen people go insane, and i don't eant that to happen the disconnect isn't all it's cracked up to be you can blame anyone else as much as you want, but int eh end you can't escape your own faults i want friends who i can actually trust i want o feel loved and apprectiated, even if i can't fully love myself i want to grow up and be completely content and i never want to feel like i've run out of time

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