• I am not the type of girl to sit contently in the corner while watching all her friends find cliched lust with only a goodluck and a pretty smile I need people it's horrible, i hate it, but i do i suck at being alone being fucked over, treated like crap, oh yea no problem but not having anyone to come home to i just can't do my mom keeps telling me not to settle, but i know i will i'm going to marry the first guy who asks me, just in case he's also the only one because the thing with me, though, is that i don't actually believe in love i think you can get along with anybody, make things work as long as you figure out what they're after I texted chris today, which was stupid because now he knows i want him back and, honestly, i only want him because in comparison to what other guys have done to me lately he's practiaclly a savior My friend J is trying to set me up with this attractive guy who sort of stalks her fine, i'll take him i'm not looking for anythign real just something to tide me over for the next year or so something to take my mind off of me J is so lucky she has the sweet hot popular jock for a bf she always has these cute little stories about nice things he does for her like wake up early to pick her up or hang out with her family all these little awwww moments that make me just want to give her a big hug because, i love her so i'm not jealous and i know she deserves it just as much as i do It's so sad, but when i reflect on it, I've only had one exceptionally nice thing done for me in my entire life and shockingly enough, it wasn't matt, the guy i thought i loved and dated for a year but just Chris, my summer nothing fling who drove all the way to the beach just to hang out with me I think that's why i texted him tonight because even though i could easily be angry at him he's still the best i've ever had and he still hasn't texted me back So now i'm just waithing for ethan i guess random hottie from J because any hope of a semblance of love is so much better than nothing at all

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