• Okay, okay. I guess I should write something more clear. Why not start out with how my day was? I skipped school yesterday so today seemed a tad bit ‘off.’ Like always I had a lot of catching up to do. First class was alright, only because I had a lot of happy people surrounding me which made a good atmosphere but after first period every dark feeling and though that cringed away from all the smiles and laughter from happy people pounced on me as soon as I left the room and walked alone down the hallway. I recently noticed I have to fake happiness a lot. I wonder why… Next class- Lame. Class after- Lame. 4th period; Interesting. Julian is in that class with me but we never even talk. I still feel nervous around him though, even if we never even spare a word or two during the whole 45 minutes. I hate who he sees me as. Some happy girl with a care free life. Someone who has never went through anything. I bet he would hate the person I see him as too… Only because that person isn’t even him. It is my new and improved version of him, the one I want him to be Or the one I want to find in my long life span. The usual looks that any teenager wants, but with amazing brains. Someone that will look over all my flaws and just love everything about me. Someone that makes me feel better about myself, someone that will help me forget that I’m on this hellish earth and I have to survive by myself. I could go on forever, I swear. He is a great kid in all, but that’s just what he is! A kid. I am one to, yes, but in mind, not body, I am maturer then him and it is the same thing for me as age and height. Who would want to date a guy 2 inches shorter then you? Okay, I have done it before but only out of desperation. See, I have been freakishly tall my whole life and there has never seemed to be anyone taller then me tell recently. Enough of the nonsense. Hmmm. Other periods were the same, only 7th was different. Don’t judge me on what I’m about to write, okay? HE was in that class. Some amazing new boy, completely different from me. I know, I have a boyfriend and all but no matter how many times I remind myself that I cant help but to look at his pale face, coal black hair, and slim body. Who could?! He talks to me, It’s not like I’m going to ignore him. It just makes me feel great that he actually talks to me and I never have to go up to him or anything. At first, responding to his comments about life and such was just a way to get back at Julian because I heard he’d been flirting with other girls and I am just the most twisted person ever for wanting to get back at him. Gosh, Is that boy something! Not Julian, This new kid. Oh… Julian is great and all but this new kid… I sound bad, huh? Should I give Julian some time on my mind? Hahhaha. Okay. Julian. Julian. Julian… Hes tall, light brown curly hair(drives me crazy, love curly wild hair!) light brown eyes and thin muscular body. Got to love a boy like that. Personality wise, I think he comes up short. Teehee ^_^ He is not that bright, in my opinion and he doesn’t talk much… Damn, gotta go.

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