bsmnbcasjbefbcjhegfbvnFUCKK. I am the dumbest, no, seriously, I am so goddamn freaking DUMB. Ok. Saturday was good in part (see last post) because I met this really, really cute guy. Seriously. He was really freaking adorable, and he was actually into me? Like, he was flirting with me pretty hard and making physical contact and he asked for my number. We made plans with our friends to hang out today and he asked for my number and said he'd call me to see when we were coming for today. Ok. So he had this friend who was kind of a creepster? And it just worked out that some friends dropped and so some other friends of mine didn't want to go because I would be flirting with this guy and they'd be stuck with the creepster. But I reallyyy wanted to go! Because this guy actually seems interested! But I decided not to go, because it just would've been awkward. But check it - my phone was on silent, but he called me four times in my last period (his school gets out earlier than mine). And then he called when I was on my way home, and asked where I was. And I said that we couldn't make it and made up some bogus excuse. He actually sounded disappointed and said we should make plans for some other time, and I said ok. But oh my fucking god. Why did I not go today? I am so fucking stupid. I finally have a chance to hang out with a guy that might like me, and I chicken out. Why? I'll fucking tell you why. Because I'm too much of a wimp to think that a guy might actually be interested in me. I was like, "What will we talk about? What will he do? Do I look ok?" etc, etc. And then I was paranoid that he might think my friend was more attractive...god! I disgust myself. It's not thattt bad, though. I mean, I called him again and though he didn't pick up, I left a message asking him to hang out this Friday with some friends. I don't fucking care, I am not chickening out this time. And if my friends don't like it, they can suck it. I do enough for them, they can suck it up for me for like, three hours. Dammit.