• I asked the masses at large If they'd take death free of charge Over a lifetime of debt to be living so hard Of course, they all say they'd take life any day But I can see through their facades Because I know, if any one does, That what you have isn't what you want And what you want isn't what you have Isn't it just too bad? But you can't show too much pity For country bird who never heard sounds of the city When the urban areas are filled like a cup With empty promises for success and love And it's just so tough, to ever measure up Besides, the poor girl's just too content Knowing the world as bound by her picket fence So leave her be, in her ignorance I followed a sign from a mentor of mine, She said she'd always see me through Swore I'd get somewhere in life That she believed in everything I do She gave me a gift, to continue with this Dream she had for me, the way she hoped I'd live It was a set of blending sticks For all the useless pencil drawings I did Instead of the assignments and classwork she'd give She was always so perceptive And she had so much kindness But two weeks after she'd offered this set As my Christmas present She was in her bathroom, readying the bath tub When her heart, in its frenetic faults, did stop And just like her father before her She struggled against the attack that bore Death in its hand and a smirk on its lips And the Devil himself, he cursed at this He knew she'd grow those wings too quick But didn't want her dead just yet Everyone knew it wasn't a fair bet But God knows, it was genetic And I remembered this woman And all the confidence she'd woven In to my wounded heart And I didn't cry at her funeral, I bawled And I shut my door To try and block out the screams Flooding rooms galore But not from mine or me He thinks he's right, she thinks he's mean He refuses to listen, she won't stop speaking There's never room for happiness When everyone's filling their marriages With arguments of senselessness Nonsense that means nothing I never understood a bit of it Even as a kid In the earlier years, it was even worse My brothers both noticed it first The bruises appeared, aptly so From their knees to their elbows But no one could touch me Because I would fight right back I tried to make them see But they were just too mad To bother with listening And they were just too sad To throw anything but insults in my direction I never took what he said in stock But it left a mighty infection That swells when he tries to make me stop Being so much like the person he's not And making my own decisions I'm not marching his missions Or carrying his messages Not anymore, but sadly We used to be less than even this Until I realized they can't do a thing to me When they've already taken everything And might soon even take my hearing Seeing as they won't stop screaming Outside my tightly shut door I lay my head down on the floor And pretend I'm somewhere far and safe My mental, fragile, loyal escape I fell hard for a man Two years older than I I shouldn't call him anything less Than perfect to even the naked eye And I know he has flaws, I've witnessed them myself But, see, what I saw I would never call out As tainted by wrong or sin It's simply he and him And who can blame a man For being who he is? And all the gold in his eyes Breaks open the heart in my chest It spills down my cheeks like butterflies When my lips are on his He drives me to madness He fucks up my life I've never cried with such sadness In so many nights But the pleasure overrides All the pain that I hide And how could I dare complain When we're perfect for each other in every way? He's for me, I'm for him And in my book, that's a win-win situation We like to kiss, do so most of the time And Good God, the boy tastes just like sunshine And we can't really help it But whenever we're alone We get carried away, me and him And end up out of our minds and clothes But damn, the boy looks beautiful in his skin That glorious face, those muscles and bones I'd be lying if I said I don't need him However independent I honestly am And sure, I could breathe Without him close to me But I don't really need That sadness or anxiety And I really would hate All the boring, useless days That would ensue, dreary and dull, If I couldn't hold On to him as he wished I would do so much more And he's all that I miss And all I adore Yes, I adore the very man Who held my face in his hands Said goodbye in a driveway I'll see him soon again

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