• First I'd just like to say that I miss when featured bands in Alternative Press didn't all sound the same. Yeah, I'm talking to you, seventeen-year-old Myspacers with your Garageband and three chords repeated in rapid succession. ...But this is not what I'm here to rant about. What I am here to rant about is this: If anyone is not aware, in the most recent issue, they have this "Election Special" (or that's what the issue is called; I don't know, nor do I care) with various polls about reader's attitudes towards politics. I didn't even make it halfway across the second page before I saw the headline "When it comes to the next president," ....Read on: "97 percent believe that person should be able to use a computer 87 percent believe that person should be able to surf the web 70 percent believe that person should be able to text 56 percent believe that person should be able to operate an iPhone Half of those surveyed also think the new president should be able to update a Facebook profile pic and know how to play Guitar Hero." WHAT. Okay, I will agree with the first two - computers are prevalent and helpful blah blah, and obviously news and journalism are not just limited to papers and television. But iPhones? Facebook? Guitar Hero? These are completely social things. Really. I don't think the president wants to be stalking high school classmates on a networking website and I especially don't think they want to be spending their off-time pretending to play guitar to Guns 'n Roses songs or what-the-fuck-ever it is you do with that thing. I'm not saying I think the president should be socially inept and hide out in the White House. No. That's not the point of being a country's leader, clearly. But looking for things like knowing how to text, work an iPhone and Facebook (what about going on Facebook on an iPhone? holy shit) and Guitar Hero when casting your vote? Those are frivolous. Those are not qualities you should be looking for when electing someone who will be ..ushering you and the country you live in into the future. I am afraid.

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