• For some reason I'm feel anxious all of the sudden. All day I felt anxious and just off beat. I even meditated three times. I hung out with Dar, Bren, and Arnol, but had to return home after like 45mins because my mom was freaking out. Maybe it was just driving with a teenage male at the wheel, but I couldn't seem to stop my nervous habits from kicking in. Dar noticed and tried to make me stop. Which was kind of nice, I guess. Not because I'm like dying for him to notice weird things about me, but because he wanted me to just be calm. He knows how anxious I am and how I'm trying my hardest to calm my ways. I'm suppose to learn how to skateboard, not like hardcore skating..but being able to like move and stop and go fast. Hah, I'm scared to even get on a skateboard. I purposely wear flip-flops to the shows so Dar nor Bren can teach me. I told Dar if ever I come to his home, he can teach me. The deal was he'd have to read Alice in Wonderland, but I decided not to make him, he hates reading, so yeah. Anyway, I'm anxious all the sudden. Yet at the same time I'm so incredibly tired. Right now, I could go lay down and probably pass out. But as soon as I need to go to sleep I'll be wide awake. I also keep waking up 3:14am. Which is really starting to annoy me. The exact time every night my body feels the need to wake itself. Once I wake I feel energized and like I'm ready to start my day. I don't know. I guess I'm just a little disappointed. I thought meditating and stuff would make me like, calm and chill, and solve my restless sleeps. I mean, I'm not giving up on meditation, but it's a little disheartening. Plus, the last time I went to Ali's (4 days ago, I think) she kept pointing out like how I'm slightly OCD (which I'm not, at all.) and how I look tense and nervous all the time. Which I thought I had worked on and improved. There's a whole list in my mind of things I need to do, I'm taking them one step at a time. I kind of want to write the list out, but part of me feels like writing it out would give into my temptations and make me feel low every time I read over it. Does that even make sense? haha.. I painted today. Well, I started a painting. It's going to be of a portion of a tree, like the top left side of it. It will be an autumn tree. So far I have to background (which is just blue) and the tree's branches. I bought a new shade of blue today. So if and when I put it on canvas I can use a brighter shade. I'm taking a walk with my mom at 9 (its 8:39) but I really just feel like laying on my bed and passing out. I think I might lay down, just a few minutes though. Quote of the Day: ~"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."~ --Oscar Wilde

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