• what's the difference between love, lust and infatuation? actually, I suppose I can establish the differences between the three...I just don't know which one I'm suffering from. lust, natch - a definite. it's pretty easy to identify. infatuation - I can freely admit that I think about him a LOT. probably more than I should. but on the other hand, I'm not desperate to spend every waking minute by his side and we're never all over each other in front of our friends. we both have lives together and lives apart, which is fine by me. love - the tricky part. like I've said in a previous entry, I have had no prior experience in love so I'm completely clueless. we haven't said "I love you", but I know that's not the be all & end all of it. obviously, I know it's not like a lightbulb goes off in your head and KABLAMMO, you're in love. but every time I see his face, peeking up at me from underneath his slight emo-kid fringe, or he starts playing the chords to 'closer', or ANYTHING like that, I just don't want to leave that room, or even consider what my life would be like without him. sure, sometimes he pisses me off no end (see other entries), but maybe that's what it takes. maybe love's just a combination of everything, taking the good with the bad and still wanting them just as much. I don't know. :/ And I don't care if this counts as one of those bog-standard teenage girl's journal entries, being all soppy about her current crush. because like it or not, this is what being a 15-year-old girl entails. it's nobody else's life except my own and if this is what I want to make sense of, so be it. ...okay. rant over. I'm off to a shitty family party.

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