• thoughts on my mobile phone august 5: everything that moves is either black or blue. why? WHY? why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing? is that right? or is it i was made for chasing dreams? maybe they're both right. maybe that's our lives. we chase after nothing. maybe the atheists got it right. but they couldn't have. life is too incredible and intricate and compicated and structured and just... awesome to have been a mistake of the universe. exsistence in itself is terrifying. why. why is the best, the hardest and the most sought after question ever. period. august 6: so... there's an eighteenth now. why? that was so incredibly random. oh and he has a girlfriend. that's my favorite part. cross my heart and hope to die if i'm lying. i always take satisfaction in taking what belongs to others. it's my inner sinner making it's mark. and the night was oh so cliche. especially with delila in the the backround. august 7: the way he touched my legs afterwards really scared me. his inability to detatch is truely frightening. august 7: holy shit. jacob. i totally wish he was here right now. i... miss you? what the fuck. what the FUCK. the song you gave to me was playing after i got with that boy. and it hurt me so bad. if i told you about him... would you be hurt? shit shit shit. why do i like you? i'll never tell you any of this. never. august 7: stop talking to me. please stop. we hooked up. you got what you wanted so why are you still paying attention to me? You want it you want it you want it you want it Well here it is Everything everything everything Isn’t so primitive Take it and take it and take it and take it and take it all

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