Oops.

  • So I totally did not write anything for like, several weeks, and in these several weeks, I've finished my six week training with Coach Rob (Praise God!) and I've gone to Covecrest. If I had to write everything about Covecrest, I'd be here all freakin' day. I'm debating over whether the week at my aunt's was better or the week at Covecrest was better. To sum it up in a sentence or two, I've never been so close to Jesus Christ in my entire life. The people you meet, and the activities you do, and the environment, they're all so great and unforgettable. I wish I could say it changed my life, but I can't, because reality is already setting in and I'm getting back to the old life here in this judgemental town of mine. Okay, three sentences. NO MORE. My mom has been noticing that I've been depressed for absolutely no reason in the world. I've got everything great going for me. Everything! And yet I still have those days where I just lock myself in the bathroom, and I see the razor out of the corner of my eye. I'm just being honest, the other day I really felt like just going for it. I never have before. But I was just so sad. And I pray a lot. It works for maybe a day or two, then it fades, and I'm back at the bottom of the pit. So I've decided to see a doctor about it. My dad called them today to set up an appointment. Maybe I'll get put on antidepressants or something. I hate doing this too, because I know it makes Eddie really sad. He's given me everything I could ask for. I hate making him sad. But hopefully this is the light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows. I want to get the appointment in before I go to Spain, which is Thursday, but I doubt it. I know I'm going to be depressed while I'm there, I just know I am. And being on the top floor at my grandmother's apartment is not helping at all. I'm going to go 2 weeks without seeing Eddie. Or talking to him on the phone. Ah. I haven't been there in 3 years so I'm pretty excited though. Miss my Abuelita and Abuelito and Tio Kike. Currently, I'm loading up on good songs to listen to on the airplane, airport, etc. I think I've got a plane from Pensacola to Atlanta, and I'm spending like six hours waiting for my plane to Madrid. Sucks, but I'll have music! I hope they have an internet cafe.
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