• It's so cold in my house I'm all huddled up, blowing on fingers but still i feel it seeping seeping beneath my skin, scaring the bone i'm so lucky in my sheltered blanket there's no real war here just the petty arguments over nothing, nothing at all I wish I could help someone someone whose dodging landmines whose had to leave it all and start over but i'm stuck here in this state, this house doing nothing but writing in my journal all day maybe someday, when I'm not so afraid i'll be able to write some quality piece that will be so poignant it'll shatter you to pieces i swear to god this book could sink the sun but it was you i was thinking of it's been really lonely this weekend not a single friend phone call its like i only exist in fractions when we're apart no one ever thinks of me but with the rest, i'm the brightest color in the room maybe it's better like this it helps me focus I can pretend I'm perfect here there's no one close enough to stop me I watch tv because it's mindless i spend hours decoding songs because the words aren't mine every thing i do has rhyme and reason everysinglelittlething i keep lists in my head of rules, schedules allowances, indulgences tiny tallies to keep my brain on track so i don't completely get pulled under by the shadows i lost a poetry contest must have been that i'm too dark don't want to scare the kiddies, now do we? keep them innocent as long as possible smile through our lies as we swear this world is good i think i'm out of thinks maybe tomorrow then maybe tomorrow i'lll figure this shit out

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