• today is august first. and i woke up. and that's what i first thought of. at first, i was petrified. i couldn't believe i was going to move away and go somewhere where i am completely out of my comfort zone. i thought of my boyfriend, britt. and my mom. and how much i am going to miss them. and how much i have taken them for granted. how much i should've done and said. but i didn't. and i can't take it back. time won't go back for me. and i don't deserve it. i started thinking more and more, and i got excited. i am moving away. i am going outside of my comfort zone. i am learning to experience life. i thought of how hard it is going to be and how much weight i am going to gain. how much i'm going to cry and want to move back. and then i thought, what do i have to go back to? this? here? if i came back, it would be, to a dead end. i need my own life and i need to know that i can succeed. i need to know that i can be independent more than dependent. i need to know that i am confident and secure with myself. i need to know that i cannot make everyone like me. i need to stand on my own two feet and do whatever it takes to start my life. i'm only eighteen years old and i'm just learning. for the longest time, all i've ever thought about was moving and getting away from here. and i finally get to. unbelievable. if someone would've told me this five years ago, even two years ago, i wouldn't of believed them. i would've called them a liar and gotten so mad at getting my hopes up. i won't have to deal with married boyfriend anymore. i won't have to deal with friends drama anymore. i won't have to deal with boyfriend's drama anymore. i won't have to deal with halo anymore. the only thing i have to deal with, is myself. i need to trust myself. and know that i am smart. and i am capable. i need to have confidence. i am smart. i am capable. i can move and be successful. i'm not running away. i am running to something. my future. be hopeful. not realistic, not pessimisitc. i can do this. i know i can. the first couple months will be unbearable and i will want to quit. i will want to quit. i will get depressed. don't quit, stephanie. cry it out, suck it up, and move on. just do it. no excuses. i am stephanie, hear me roar.

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