• I'm home now. I miss it there already, but I'm looking on the sunny side. What more can I do? I'm working on being happy, yet every atom in my body wants to cry and pretend I'm still in Arkansas. Everything will work itself out though. I'll return. My mother is thinking of surprising my sister in Feb. with a visit. That will be really nice if it goes through. Leaving was very hard. I would like to sit here and say I was a total hard ass and didn't tear up once, but I did. I teared up when leaving The Group. We had gone night swimming. As I walked away Rus said 'learn from this' I turned to him and said I already had he said 'really?' I replied, 'You have no idea.' Fre gave me the picture, it's really neat. I'll hang it up once I finish redecorating my room. (my mother did it like 3/4 of the way) Fre, Amy, nameless boy, and myself were out kind of far when my sister yelled for me to leave. I gave Fre a hug and thanked them, I would have hugged amy but really didn't want to tear up in front of them. I went to shore, gave Rus and Gar hugs, Lil wasn't around, I never said goodbye to her. I'll miss those crazy kids. I really did enjoy the time I spent there. I teared up in the car, but choked it down. Once at my sister's house I teared up, we were watching donnie darko..haha... TJ took off work early to come see me before I left. I gave him a hug and told him I loved him. I looked in to his eyes and I saw they were blood shot and he himself had tears swelled up. I really couldn't believe it. My sister and I cried of course, she told me to be strong and never let anyone tell me otherwise, I'm not sure why she said that. I told her I'd be back and TJ in a choked voice smiled and said, ''she has to come back, she owes me another necklace'' Even if I were to never see any of The House again, I never will forget them, or forget what I've learned. They've made a sort of difference in my life, something I couldn't really convey in words. The closest thing to my feelings I can say is they make me feel like it's okay to be the person I am. Not only is it okay, it's awesome. I've never felt such a sense of belonging. Words seem so dry compared to how I feel. Arnol came over with my mom to meet me. That was nice..he made the ride home go by more quickly. I secretly saw my father. (secret as in my mother doesn't know) It was great. We reminisced and he gave me a pocket knife for protection. He wouldn't give me a butterfly knife though, I'll get one eventually. We were walking from my uncle's house (two houses down from his own) and I was saying how I remember racing him between the light poles. he asked if I wanted to race and I said ''no...not really' he said 'ah, come on' i got a few paces ahead of him and said 'okay!' and took off. That's a defiantly one of those memories I will keep on file. I'm listening to Brand New. I hadn't heard them all summer until Fre came home (to The House) one night with burnt cds and had them on it.. I'll be back though, I know it. Quote of the Day: ~"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."~ --Dr. Seuss my cat is mad at me.

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