• =) =/ =( Possibly a reprieve is needed?..More so desired, only because I have this amazing tendency to run away from dealing with things. I definitely think me even typing this is a psychological break through. My attempt at sobriety has taken a sudden turn for the worst...to say the least and i can't help but having the most sinister smile. but this has got to die. this has got to stop. this has got to lie down with someone else on top. Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. And I assure you, i've had my fair share of poignant memories. but this has got to die. this has got to stop. atleast now I have an excuse, even a reason to propel myself deeper into this self imposed abyss of depression, that I SO enthusiastically extol. I feel beautiful. So few emotions are real, I question anyone who says there happy but OH how I wish I hadn't "opened" my mind to so many things, that I could walk the streets admist an oblivious, naive daze. You really do lose your innocence. You really do lose that thing, maybe you've lost sight of it you have it though, and i yearn for it everyday. That thing, that thing..whatever it is that makes a day beautiful, and the evening so serene. You have it. I really, I don't. Dazing in and out of streams of conciousness is probably the greatest thing, and the day, the day after is what i love best. and the fear of dehydration, and that potential over dose. And seeing someone on the verge of death. And there was a line somewhere, somewhere along the way. And people ask me when I crossed that line. I don't really know, but i do remember the realization that I had at some point crossed a line. A line seperating my conscious and my reality. A line seperating my reality from reality. And i don't really like the whole "line" concept, it's almost negate, how should a line exsist if your awarness of crossing that line doesn't occur way after the fact that you actually crossed. Maybe now, if there was like a literal point and literal line, and you could cross it and therefore almost take into consideration the very real choice you're about to make.. Haha yes. I realize the idiocracy of this. I'm starving. I tired of feeling hungry. Like something can't be filled..like desires. But what I would like the most, is to appreciate life again. I've heard so many times that it's precious. I'm beginning to take that into consideration. I'd like to say atleast my ambition far exceeded my talent..probably not though. Could you imagine me being happy, being ok? I'm such a great advocator for the wounded and tried alike, I would make a brilliant optimist, i really would. Or i'm just far too much in love with being broken. Sweetly broken. I have alot to do, alot to do today, and i have no intention on doing any of it =) so i tried to copy and paste the scripture for today from some website with pastel colors and little lambs, but everytime i tried to copy it i got a tiny popup asking "Do you know Jesus?" Well yes I do, assuming that's obvious because i'm trying to copy scripture from His word... i'm typing it myself. i'm awfully ambitious? haha. Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, Nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love All the wealth of his house, It would be utterly despised. -Songs of Solomon 8 Love is STRONGER then death. That's gives me enough hope to get through this day.

• No Comments

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!