• i have a fat migraine. i've tolerated it quite well i must say. I'm often very welcoming to pain inflicted upon my body, but to my dismay this pain is a constant penetrating force that has failed to cease. The title of this is not realted to anything at all. It's Tolstoy for anyone who is interested. The greatest Russian writer of prose fiction. I drew. I drew again last night. I haven't in quite a while. I only think i draw good when i'm under the influence of something or at church. (some sort of creative balance..or lack of?) whywhywhywhywhy? why what? idk. i have no why, i have no what. I crave, I crave, I crave...the dreams really are the worst. I used to think I slept with my eyes open therefore, closer to reality, but I think the real reality is i sleep with my eyes open to keep from dreaming. Sleep is the loneliest thing to me. Youre guranteed to be alone when you sleep, alone to feel, alone to think, alone to relive the worst and best moments.. its all too real and awfully terrifying. I take far too long of drags on my ciggarettes. Still abstaining from smoking. Although its not illegal nor do i think it's wrong i'm still trying to steer clear of it. 1 cor. 10:23 anyone? Not all things legal are expedient. HAH..People always used to ask me why i smoke so fast, and really thought i was so cool. i still really think i am so cool. not really. but my response would always be, "i don't smoke to be social like you guys, i smoke to die." How awfully cryptic and mysterious is that? I'm such an idiot. How ever no one ever knew i actually got that from a book. No one ever reads anymore. Its a pity pity pity. verse. 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?

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