• and you know, i wish i spent more time talking about Christ. where i was in my walk. was the Lord as real, or un real as he is to me now...although he is completely real and absolutely fake to me right. Jesus. give me truth. give me life. give me drugs.. sorry if there are an excessive amount of typos im actually typing with my head down because mt neck is tired on sitting on my shoulders probably because my head is so heavy trust me not from any pride i have. im really actually humble possilby this is a result of low self esteem..ive given up any hope of using grammar however this will bug me beyond belief later, i dont feel like lifitng me head..hahahaahah well i havent smoked weed in a few days. thta sounds tooooo good, got a new bible yesterday though. 50bucks wtf? seriously...and peta much be having a fit with us Christians because most bibles (including mine) is made of genuine leather. sicksicksick. why does dying always sound so sweet to me? tahts really what i'd like to know. im not depressed nor am i self mutilating i wish i was though maybe im too lazy though? or i love hurt..idk but im tired of explaining it and justifying it to myself. please pray for me? ok heads up now. also upon reading my entries from the previous year i realize i said the word "pussy" a little too much. i much prefer the word "cunt" now. kidding. but really, using an anatomical word as dirrogatory i know i spelt that wrong.. let alone an anatomical part in which i contain, it incredibly rediculous. stupid really. aww the vulgarity... ive been reading a lot of tolstoy, somehting about russian authors i just love. maybe its the whole brothel, socialism, lenin thing that just really tempts my inner being. and im craving a tattoo and possibly another piericing. what and where idk. definitely more teenage angst. and im thinking a literal vacation would be nice. maybe sanfransisco? beauty is awfully sad there though. and i have plenty of thoughts about boys, but honesty to even waste space on here or attempting to find the words for my desperation is all too pathetic and worthless so i'll leave it be for now. and i'd like to end this with a verse (from my new bible of course) and i only had to buy a new bible because the dirty mexicans at the carwash stole it, they BETTER be saved by His grace and love because of that! who am i? .... anyways a verse. also because im looking in the book of philippians right now, i met a guy last week who had a tattoo of a verse in hebrew, and it was ALLL to wrong, people are idiots. he even quoted the scripture wrong.. pfkpkfefewewfkds';kaqA NO COMMENT. "Yet indeed i count all things loss for the excellance of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom i have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ" -phil. 3:8 dumb question, was king james british? someone please get back to me on this. and another thing i had to say, quite funny really, but i cant remember so i guess we'll save it for another day.. Be Blessed!

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