• 7/12 Why is it arguing with friends hurts the most? And no matter how right you are, you still feel wronged. Why is it so hard to just say you're sorry first? Even though you know they're dying to hear it just like you are. Do you fight to test one another, or is there really no reason at all? Do some people have reasons? Why are we always sorry for the things we shouldn't be sorry for? Or for the things we really can't control? Perhaps we do fight to test one another. Perhaps we do a lot things to test one another. Perhaps we don't. It seems to me that some of the best lyrics Ive ever heard came from some of the softest voices. I think one of the main reasons I fear death is because I don't want to be forgotten. Which I feel I will. Is there any real reason to fear that though? If everyone dies, we will all meet again..right? It seems that people are always saying not to let the little things get to you, or not to get wrapped up them. But how long can you look at the big picture until you get bored? Why is everything so complicated and contrary? Why can't things just be simple...if they were simple would we want them to be complicated? I'm suppose to go to a party in a little while. I'm not fully sure if I want to. I really just want to take a nice long swim, and calm down. That's mostly because I love nature though. Nature to me can be like a security blanket. It's comforting and it's not going anywhere soon. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have the comfort of nature. I appreciate a lot of things, but nature is at the top of my list. Why are people so hesitant to forgive for petty things? Or hold grudges for petty things? Why don't we all try to cause as little negative energy as we can? Then again, I think negativity is just part of human nature. If you gave someone the same type of chocolate everyday for a year, they'd grow tired of the chocolate you're giving them. What if you gave them three types..and altered them every three days? In a pattern..would they still grow tired of it? You're giving them variety..just in order? 7/13 I think a fallen tree is one of the most beautiful sites I've ever seen. Something so beautiful, so powerful lying rotting on the edge of an interstate. I swear I could write like Henry or Hemingway if I just tried a little harder. It always seems if I just did something a little more, or with a little more effort I could have it. But then again, do I really want it? If I could write like them, I'd never do it. I swear to it. I never would. I'd never touch my pen to paper as long as I lived. Have you ever looked closely at a leaf from a tree? What did you see? Did you just see a leaf? Did you see life? Chlorophyll? I could spend all day outside just studying blades of grass. What do you do when you finally get something you want? Something you have longed for? You've chased and chased, now it's yours..but you still feel like you should be chasing? Camden told me to enjoy it...how exactly do I do that? Dar seems to care way more than what I ever thought he could be capable of. It makes me feel nice, but it makes me unsure of myself. I'm not exactly sure why. I over-analyze things to the point of obsession..I'm not sure if that's okay or not. As usual, I'm not sure of much. I am sure of one thing though..and that's that I need to go take a shower and stop thinking so damn much. No good can come from it. I swear.

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