• Liam just said something.. it was the phrase "never stopped". it reminded me of Benni. it was something he said long ago.. about someone. someone who was 'special'. (Lol i just thought of the way Adam says 'special' in my head when i typed that and it completely killed the mood xD) and Liam said earlier.. anything he's said about feelings for anyone else, forget. why do guys do this? they say they got over her. they said it was love at the time but they got over her. they told me about all the girls in between. how they were 'special'. then it comes down to it and they were just lying about all the others and it's really only been the first girl. it hasn't. i've watched on, helpless, at your love-driven self-destruction. and now you tell me they were never real? You may regret your feelings but that doesn't mean you never had them. i don't pretend October never happened. it's made me who i am. i may not understand those feelings anymore and i could never bring them back but i know i had them, even though i can't remember what they felt like. But it was pretty sweet to say to Benni: "i understand. we all have crushes we regret." only him and Hannah are on the rocks now apparently. Yeah. 'Special'.

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