• i set up a tent in my backyard to get away from things. it's supposed to fit a family of 16, so it's huge, although i don't know anyone with a family of 16... so i'm living in there. clever, huh? it's hot and sticky and rains at night, but i'd rather take a mildew-y bed than a house that is unbearably silent with pain seeping through the cracks in the walls. i can't stand this anymore. tonight is my last night to get fucked up for a week or so. i am so addicted but i don't want help. i love drugs. i love everything about drugs. i hate myself when i'm not on drugs. i wanna get high. i wanna get drunk. i wanna roll. i wanna get FUCKED UP. my weed stash ran dry yesterday. i didn't freak out as bad as i thought i would... i know i said i'd stop, but i've been getting high ever since. it's the cocaine and ecstasy that i stopped and i can't function. literally. i hate everything and everyone. i'm bitter. i'm moody. i snap so easily. fuck i hate this so much. steven told me he loved me. we were both incredibly high though. i don't think he meant it... god. i hope he did. i just want his attention and affection and i'll live and breath and die off of it. i've never been in love before. (who falls in love at the age of 14?) i asked my mom that once. she said it wasn't impossible, but it was highly unlikely. i think she thinks i love steven. i think i think i love steven. i think i love steven. i might love steven. nah. i don't. hahaha. wow. i really don't. that boy really is amazing though. i don't know what i'd do without him. he controls me in all the right ways. he hinders me when i get too out of control. he cares about me. he cares about me. not like you, you dirty fuckers. he cares about me! he loves me! steven loves me! :) i think i'm going crazy,...

• No Comments

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!