• What am I doing? I feel like a fake, a total fraud - about this, these fucking entries, I feel like all the others here "mommy doesn't love me, daddy loved me too much" and all the issues that are meaningless. The point is we bitch about everthing to everyone expecting sympathy. Bull, I empathise with no one. Because when push comes to shove they would throw me into the fire to survive, I know I would. I like to think my actions have meaning, but I know they don't. You're all expendable in the end, you might as well face it. Everything I've tried to do has turned to shit on me all my actions are meaningless. I feel nothing. My friends are all pricks. My issues are pointless, I have my demons but that is unimportant, my demons keep me going. Keep me focused. This leads me to ruiners (if you know the song you'll know what I mean) it's all about selfish desires with these people they'll show interest then cut you down. I won't ramble bad memories from a bad time. I want them to hurt like nothing else, my life is a struggle with this inner torment. The idea that it'll all work out, yeah wishful thinking. I want to go away for a very long time. I'm living the best years of my life and I hate them. I want them gone I want this popularity contest of a life to be finished but that is it, life is on giant... One giant popularity contest. One where I'm fucked from the start. Fuck it all.

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