Work's good. School's good. Friend's good. Life's good. And as pathetic as it sounds, I still feel like something is missing - I still feel like I want to come on here and complain. Maybe, deep down, underneath the hard exterior, there's a soft girl who wants to be loved? Is it possible that I'm not as independent as I seem to think I am? I mean, that's the only thing I don't have right now; I don't have a "lover", people don't normally tell me that they love me. It's beginning to hit me that I've brought this on myself. I tease people to show them that I care. Like I believe I've previously said, and if I haven't then here you go, but I'm the "push you in the playground" type. I don't tell people that I love them. I find it really hard to open up to people, and I can honestly say that nobody knows anything about my emotions at this time. Nobody knows, and it's like nobody needs to know. That's the tough part though: there's two people I could open up to right now, but even then I don't spill anywhere near as much as I could. I'm a really good listener, and that's what I enjoy serving as. Yet I still feel compelled to anonymously type up my life in an online journal for millions around the interweb to read. One would think that it could be a trust issue. I'm not so sure though. There's just something there that's constantly stopping me from, for lack of better term, "bearing my soul" to others. Maybe I'm scared that if I'm too honest with people, it'll make them change their perceptions of me. And it would. I'm turning into one of those kids I hate. I'm truly grateful for my life, so please don't get me wrong, but I feel the need to vent and release... what, you think I'd actually tell this to someone I know?