• back to the rhythm and back to the beat of the radio do you have moments with someone that always play throgh your head when you feel shit/defeated/even just bored? i do. it's slightly annoying, because I can never completely recreate them without missing details. maybe writing everything down'll evacuate them...i don't know. it's worth a try. one softly strumming 'always' by blink 182 on his acoustic in a field on a hill surrounded by other towns. surprising him by singing along, running my hands through his hair, his head resting just below my chest. we're both slightly intoxicated, which only magnifies the feeling of perfection that is that moment. i know that, even if I could have anything in the world, i would only ask for more of him. two mucking about in ruth's room after an evening letting each other know how we feel without talking. exhausted of everything, me lying down and him following suit, facing me. before i know it he's kissing me for the first time, pressing into me so hard it takes me by surprise. after a few seconds i smile, and he asks if i'm laughing at him. I say no, still grinning, and dip my head back down to enjoy the last few minutes with him before i have to go to germany. three lying on the living room sofa the first time he came to my house. i'm torn between a slightly upset and awkward ruth & staying curled up to him. it's the first time he discovers my outy belly button and he loves it - he finds it hilarious but doesn't realise that every time he touches me I have to stop myself from shivering. four watching the fireworks in the close - his arms are wrapped around my waist and the perfect height for me to lean back on him. for once i'm not acutely aware of his every move against me, I'm happy just knowing he's there. we don't kiss. we don't need to.

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