• rang kris at 2:20am in tears telling him about everything. then my mum came in and started slabbering again and kris heard it and said "if you ask me, you'd have to be mad to stay there tonight." and told me to go up so i did. i got up and kris's mum told me to come in and hugged me and i just started crying and told her everything. she was very reassuring and then told me some childhood kris stories to make me feel better. kris went to bed quite early and we headed upstairs and 4:00am and i climbed into bed beside kris. we didn't even sleep like. i couldn't sleep because i couldn't stop thinking about everything and because kris knew that i wasn't sleeping, he couldn't sleep. he got a bit too touchy-feely and we kissed and i said "this is probably the wrong thing to say right now but, i have a boyfriend" and he stopped but then i kissed him and we ended up having sex. i can't believe myself. i told myself i'd never cheat on anyone. i guess i can blame it on needing to be consoled? at about 6:45am kris texted his friend alex off my phone and then said "now you don't have to go home." he cancelled with alex just so i could have a place to go today and not be stuck in the house. i headed home and knocked the door at 8:00am. i had to knock a few times to wake my mum up and luckily i did because if i hadn't, she probably wouldn't have got up in time to get eva to school. she just let me in and walked into the kitchen then said "will you bring eva to the bus stop?" and that's all she's said to me since last night. i have some stuff to do here first and then i'm gonna head up to kris's. that way he gets to have some sleep. i'm still wearing his jumper, ffs. i need to give him it back. went up to kris's and slept for a bit then we watched my name is earl and then things got a bit touchy-feely again and i didn't even bloody stop it! raging at myself. i ended up telling kris about lulu getting off with that 32-year-old and i was really scared about him telling pierce so he said "right, if you tell noone that we had sex today, i won't say anything to pierce. but i mean it, if i hear one thing about it, i'm coming to the park and destroying their relationship." went to see my daddy. eva was there. i brought down a shitload of sweets and we had a wee party kind of thing. my daddy told me everything that the solicitor said and one of the things was "your daughter's 16? would she be willing to stand up in court and be questioned?" and my daddy said "yes, she's behind me 100%" i would, but i think i'd wet myself. get to see dean tomorrow hopefully =D tasha said that i shouldn't tell him that i stayed in kris's but i think i should. but obviously, noones finding out that we slept together.

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