so i sorta did it. we we're walking to the first block, which happened to be Bio for both of us, and since i had to go to the library, i walked him to his class, and we said gud bye, hugged, and then jsut as we were pulling away, i kissed him on the cheek. i know its not on the lips, but im still really happy i did it. i sent him an email saying that i was sorry if i freaked him out, adn that if he didnt want me to do it again, i wudnt. i htink that's reasonable. he hasnt said anything tho so idk... on to the fucking lie that is my life. im so tired of always acting like everything is all right when i know it really isnt. it sucks. always having to put on my makeup to coverup the hurt and pain.i cant take anymore. i cant handle it. i need it to stop. i need to have some clarity or _sumthing_ what ever it is. i cant keep putting on this face adn going out into the world everyday like nothing is wrong when does it all stop