• i wish i knew how to trust people, how to let them in. i cannot understand how people trust easily. how were they raised? i knew i need to let go to completely let people in. i have pretty amazing people in my life, who i just cannot let in. i have a huge wall built around me. i just want to break it down. but whenever i am around someone, it seems like more bricks come up. i do not want someone to just accept it, i want to be able to give them all of me, not just a part of me. how am i better off alone? easy, i can depend on myself. if someone wants to walk away, it will be easier to get over. i won't have to run away. that way, i won't be able to care. what kind of life is that? not being able to trust anyone? it's a lonely life, and why am i so okay with that? because i see my mom doing it, and she seems fine. but she really isn't. i need to trust.

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