• fuck ME i don't know what i was thinking. that kid was the biggest mistake. there were never any feelings for him. except for maybe disgust... must have been high. but i was completely sober about about how my physical mindframe completely takes over my emotional one. it's ridiculous how little i care. fuck me and leave. please. i don't want you. i just want to get with you and leave. never talk to me again. but i had a small epiphany this weekend. about how life is totally fucking with me. but... in the best way possible. i can't even think of the words that could explain how amazing everything is. everything is so interconnected. and there's always a reason behind every little thing. and it's so easy to read the signs if you just look for them. so i was watching this documentary on schitzophrenia. i pretty much agreed and identified with each of the people interviewed. i understood them. especially the most "messed up" one. he was... brilliant. i understand what you meant about the ribbons and the sun. i heard it too. i saw. i know. and i was thinking. no one can touch me. but who would want to? The city's a desert with photographic stars. Each pretty face is just a mirage, and my mouth's full of sand again

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