• why did it take so long for me to finally see him? if i missed him so much why didn't i just hop in the car and drive over there? 2 reasons. 1. parents can be so complicated at times. mothers especially. ever since Anthony left, my mom has voiced her opinion about the whole situation every time i talk about my feelings and how much i miss him. she says i can talk to her about anything, but really i cant. she's always telling me what to do..always saying "oh, honey!" whenever i get a bad grade in something, even if its a B. The whole Anthony situation, in her mind, is all his fault. "He could've called you, he has your number," she'd say. But what if it's somewhat his parents' fault too? Like i said parents can be complicated. Anthony said so himself that it wasn't his choice. 2. time. time has always been against me. maybe because i'm a procrastinator. anyway, i never got around to seeing Anthony because A. I dont have a car of my own and B. i've just been bombarded everyday at school. basketball season wasn't exactly a piece of cake either, leaving me no time to myself to let alone think about Anthony. so now that the school year is winding down, i finally got the guts to go see him. my friend went along with me, making the trip a lot easier and giving me more reason to go there. though he wasn't home yet, i'm glad we went because we had a good conversation with his mom, who explained how much she's glad that they switched schools (back to reason #1: parents are complicated.) And we learned a lot about what's been going on in his and his family's lives since we were there last august. he finally came home, and seemed pretty surprised that we were there. he said that we could come back anytime and he likes it when we visit (sadly it was just the one time in august until last friday). He had to get ready for a trip, so we talked for about five minutes then left. Just seeing him was enough for me. I never realized just how much i've been missing all this time until then. I know now that he's totally worth the risk of lying to my mom about the visit... he's totally worth missing and thinking about for the past 8 months...he's totally worth loving. I'm glad to know that he's doing fine and that all is well with his family. I thank God that Anthony never forgot about me. "I've got nothing left to say... just take me away..."

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