• hm eventful day 2day what to say what to say it should have been easy i stayed home sick from school my mom tried to guilt me into giung ofcourse but i didn't feel too bad cuz i was actually sick as in i have absolutely no voice nor can i breathe out my nose but ah whatever i think ill live anyway, i spent most of the day just watching t.v. a few friends texted to ask where i was i guess its nice that someone cares... the most interesting show i watched was House season finale LIKE OMG freaking amazing it was so moving and deep i actually cried i know im a baby, none of its real, but still... it sends a nice message very inspirational Im already excited for next season. After that i felt like writing so i wrote the 1st pg of a new book i know, i know i probably shouldnt start a new "journey" so to speak without finishing my old starts and i shouldn't leave loose ends unraveled but i find that the more i have written the harder it is to keep going maybe its because the deeper i go under the closer i hit to home and it just hurts so much i have to stop later on i talked to matt. wow. intense shit there, dude. basically he swears he's had an opiffiny and he's realizing how badly he treated me. well yea. duh. But even though that's nice and all, its really hard for me to believe him. I mean, even though i was trying so hard to be made fo stone, he still managed to hurt me. That lost alot of my trust. What if i go back to him and things are just the same as before? Or what if they even get worse? I told him as of now he's on probation. I don't even know what that means, to be honest. But i also told him he had to do something extra special to get me back. and i wasn't going to tell him what it is. So if somehow he actually manages to pull that off, i'll go back to him. Afterall, fate can only take you so far. I'd hate to lose out on a good thing just by not taking chances. Alos, i do feel kind of bad for J now tho. Even though i don't think he actually likes me for more than my ass, theres always a chance im also appealing as a person. I mean, he does text me everyday and i never start the convos lol. But i think i should probably top hooking up with him. Matt doesn't know yet and i really don't want him to. it's just unecessary. For me, there are absolutely no feelings involved in that one. But i suck at letting people down. Hopefully, eventually j will just get the hint or find a new whore? haha i hope so Oh i almost forgot, I'm going to my 1st concert may 31st! Its bedlight for blue eyes in wallingford! Omg im so excited. I only know a few of their songs, but danny, the lead singer is maddddd talented. plus he's super hott lol. ahh i hope all my friends can go too...it just wouldn't b anywhere near as crazy without them. Well thats it for now. Later! Serenity

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