• crazy dream. i totally told off boy who leads me on, again. i have told him exactly how i feel numerous amounts of times, but it hasn't amounted to anything. so i don't care anymore. for real. i'm just over it. i have high school to get done with. tomorrow, i have two speeches. not bad. then, i'm really, actually done. crazy. i am just ready to be done. everyone keeps saying how it's going to be so different not seeing the same people everyday, and honestly, i'm not really going to care. it's not a big deal. everyone has a facebook or myspace. even aim. it's not like everyone is going to be forever. and i slept forever today. and that didn't amount to anything. but i really had nothing better to do. my friends never call me. they never want to talk to me. they never want to hang out. so, i just lay around by myself then. so i'm just here. again. 'but if he loves me, then why does he leave?' i don't understand either. well, actually i do. he might love me, but he just pushes me away. and pushes me away. i don't matter to him. so he won't matter to me. freakin' alcoholic.

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